7. Poor Choices 1977-1981

I did have a CHR for a while at Yellowquill, but for most of four years, I didn’t have one. This was one community where I really could have used some help, particularly because everyone spoke Saulteaux. Language was a huge barrier for me. I think that I didn’t appreciate them speaking their language, in my young colonized mind! I thought of them as backwards, in their lifestyle and behaviours. In some ways, they were quite traditional, continuing with ceremonies and an old-fashioned way of life. People in MSB used to call it the ‘armpit’ of Saskatchewan, as Yellowquill didn’t have a good reputation.

The CHR told me that a lady wanted to see me. We went to her house, and she was sitting on the couch looking quite ill. She was holding her mouth, and would cough now and then. There were many children running around the house. I think she was looking after 14 grandchildren, with maybe 3 in diapers. She was maybe in her 50s, but to my young 20ish mind, she was ancient!

I asked the CHR to ask her what was wrong, and they talked for a few minutes in Saulteaux. Then the CHR turned and told me ‘she said that she doesn’t feel good’. The trouble with translations! So, I asked if she was in pain, where did it hurt, what area was affected. Again, the CHR and her talked and she said she was having problems with her stomach. The old lady picked up a can and spit into it.

During our visit, the guy from Indian Affairs arrives. He says that it’s unacceptable for her to be living there with all these children. She was complaining about having to look after all these kids. When asked who the kids belonged to, she said to her daughters who lived in the city. They would have kids and bring them to her to care for.

The guy from Indian Affairs was trying to come up with a solution. So, he suggested that the older children be placed in residential school (maybe even Gordon’s if I recall correctly). The old lady agreed, so that was the plan. Children 5 or 6 years old could be sent to live there and go to school. That would leave her with the younger ones to care for.

There was a long-ago custom that is still practiced today. Mostly, communities lived communally. There is a saying ‘ It takes a community to raise a child’, which was actually the way that First Nations people lived long ago. I have heard a number of different stories, so I’m not sure if their origin is Cree, Saulteaux, or Dakota/Sioux? But each member in the community had a responsibility towards children, and it was not necessarily just the parents, as it is in the nuclear family today. Grandparents had the responsibility to teach their grandchildren, and uncles/aunts were the disciplinarians. I was also told that it was custom for grandparents to choose one grandchild to raise.

I read a long time ago that many communities were ‘disorganized’. There are many words that can be used today to explain the history of communities and understand the impact of oppression, colonization, discrimination, all the big words. Regardless of the words that one uses, there has been a large breakdown in most communities, and most families, and many today are seriously working on their healing in trying to put everything back together.

The breakdown was in families, as residential school broke the parental/grandparents bond and disconnected everyone. The travel process requiring a travel permit to leave the reserve, that limited and/or denied travel, broke the bonds that people had with other communities, often traditional adoption or family members. This broke their cycle of ceremonies, when they would travel to other communities to support and participate in their ceremonies. The banning of ceremonies also brought hardships, as people had to sneak around to do a ceremony.

I asked an Elder one time (in my angry phase as I was learning all this stuff, and I was mad that people didn’t resist more, didn’t fight more!!) why people didn’t just continue doing their ceremonies? The Indian Agent often didn’t live on the reserve or nearby, so how would he know? The Elder told me that others in the community would go and ‘tell’ the Indian Agent, sometimes for extra rations or for some favours. The Indian Agent was all-powerful.

So, this era of banned ceremonies and limited travel brought along with it, a system of ‘tattling’ on friends, family, neighbours which continues to the present day. The worst in human relationships is being ‘stabbed in the back’ by others. Gossip, accusations, allegations are a part of daily life within many Indigenous communities, especially today, in the era of social media.

Anyway, back to my story. One of the traditions that remains to the present day, is grandparents caring for grandchildren, often more than one child. Today, we have many kids in the foster care system, due to the inability of parents to care for their children and measures in the social work profession that don’t take Indigenous culture into account. For some, grandparents are the answer and will step in and take custody of their grandchildren. But, there was no way that this grandmother was capable of looking after 14 grandchildren, especially when she was ill.

The guy from Indian Affairs looked for my support when offering the residential school option. I was supportive of this option. When I think back to the power dynamics – two of us with authority in the room – how could she refuse? And thinking back today, what hell did the children go into?

These were all lessons that I learned along the way, and helped me to grow and change, to learn more about Indigenous culture and way of life and to value other cultures as well as my own. I often had anger, and no place to put it. How does one rail against the very systems that are in place, and that employs you, provides you food, lodging, salary, etc?