11. Beauval 1982

In the summer of 1982, I was assigned to work up north. I lived in the community of Beauval, and worked at the Canoe Lake First Nation and Lac LaPlonge – a bit of English River/Patuanak First Nation had some land near Beauval and there were a few people and houses that were there. There was a big compound across the river from Beauval that contained the Residential School and a bunch of housing for the staff that worked at the school. I lived in a trailer in the compound. The trailer was a 2-bedroom, with a side porch that had been added for a clinic to see patients/clients.

I started in May. My boyfriend was getting more violent, and the instances of abuse were getting closer together. I had left him after the last incident, as I had bruises all over my body, and I was certain that he was trying to kill me. He had held me up by the neck against the wall, choking me, so my neck was full of bruises. (Of course, when I was moving my stuff out, he came in and cried and asked me to come back. So, I did go back, on my way to work. We were evicted from that apartment, because we made too much noise. He kept my car for the summer.)

I had to go to the Zone Office in North Battleford to meet the staff and to pick up the government vehicle – a 4-wheel-drive Ramcharger. It was a hot day, and I was wearing a sundress, with my bruises visible. The Zone Nursing Officer told people that I was a ‘ball player’ and that’s why I had bruises all over! For sure, no one asked, as I’m sure they didn’t want to know the answer.

Some of my memories have disappeared, I’m not sure why. Sometimes, it’s because it’s connected to trauma or a difficult event. Anyway, I got to the trailer in Beauval, not sure if someone took me or if I was just given directions. The trailer had the essentials, bedding, kitchen stuff, furniture, TV, and a washer/dryer. I went across the river to Beauval, looking for a store. There was only one store – a Northern Store operated by the Hudson Bay Company. There’s a long history of the Hudson Bay Company in Canada. The store was dismal, very little for fruit and vegetables, and no fresh meat, only frozen.

I was living in a forest. I struggled to see the horizon. I recall driving the 4X4 up back roads, trying to get to the ‘top’, so that I could actually see something. All it did was take me deeper into the trees. Being farther north, the sun didn’t set until near midnight, and by 3am, the birds would be singing. I talked about being ‘bushed’, and my boyfriend would come and get me once a month and take me to Saskatoon. The monthly trips ‘out’ kept me sane. We would go grocery shopping, and would fill the trunk with food. Other weekends, he would come and visit me. We would rent a boat and go out on Lac LaPlonge, a huge lake, much different than Lac Pelletier, where I grew up. He was able to make landmarks as we were boating, so that we would not get lost. I was grateful that he knew things, otherwise, I would have been totally lost. For all our boat rentals, we never caught one fish in Lac LaPlonge. I recall one outing, when a sudden storm came up, and we had to race back to shore. Thankfully, he knew where we were going and got us back safely. I would sit in the front of the boat, looking for big rocks in the lake that could damage the boat or the motor.

My boyfriend had two young boys, about 10 and 12 (he had 8 children, but most were adults or nearly grown, except for these boys, from two different mothers). We would get ready and go and fish at the river that divided Beauval from the compound. I think there were actually two rivers that met near Beauval. We would catch jack fish and pickerel, and my boyfriend would clean them. (I never learned to clean fish and make fillets, my mother was an expert, but I didn’t want to learn!) The boys would quickly get bored. They would leave their fishing line in the water, and occasionally, clams would grab onto their lines. They would feel the tug, and then laugh when they would pull up a clam.

One day, they were laughing like crazy. I went to check and see what they were up to. They had gotten a clam and cleaned out the insides. In between the shells, they had caught a bee or a wasp. They were calling this their ‘shaver’. The clam vibrated due to the bee inside. They got the idea from The Flinstones, apparently Fred Flinstone’s shaver was like this. They were trying to give the clam to their dad so that he could shave!

I don’t recall a lot about Canoe Lake. It was about an hour drive from Beauval. There was a small community along the way, Jan’s Bay. There was a restaurant in Canoe Lake, but I was warned to not eat there, as the owner would cut up meat on the dining room tables. It was not a nice restaurant. There was a convenience store in Jan’s Bay, so I would stop there to buy some junk food. Jan’s Bay was a Métis community back in the day.

Summer was always a bit quieter on the reserves, as people were busy. Some followed the Pow wow trail, and were rarely home. I did my usual, clinics, follow-up of babies, visits to the chronic and elderly people. Canoe Lake was a Cree community. I was surprised in the north. The reserve was built around a lake, and most homes had a boat out the back. There were also big racks for drying fish. I never did try to eat dried fish; I don’t remember anyone offering it to me either.

I recall that I had been there a month or so, and I got a call from the Zone Office, reminding me to put in my overtime. What? I had no overtime! I barely had enough work to fill up my days. It made me wonder what on earth the nurses before me were up to. I think there were people in the system that went to the north to make a lot of money, and had figured out ways to do it.

One time, a woman brought a small child to me. He had fallen and cut his forehead on something. She wanted me to stitch him up. I had never sutured anything before, and I thought that I wasn’t going to start on a small child. I sent her off to Meadow Lake, thankfully. When she returned, she told me that the cut had been deep, and that the doctor had put in two layers, an internal layer of sutures, and then the outer layer. I was grateful that I hadn’t tried to do it. Plus, nobody wants awful scars on their face.

There were some supplies in the office add-on. I think some people before me had been doing sutures. There was a program called Outpost Nursing that one could take, and learn some medical techniques. In the north, there a few doctors, so some of the nurses learn to do some of their tasks, which will help to reduce the number of people that need to be sent ‘south’ for care. I had absolutely NO desire to be a doctor or pretend to be a doctor. Or to do things that doctors did. It was like the ‘wild west’, people practicing and experimenting on First Nations people.

Canoe Lake and Lac LaPlonge were community health nursing sites, not outpost or northern nursing. I wouldn’t have accepted the assignment otherwise. MSB must have known what the nurses were doing, as they would have paid for the supplies.

I would go to the office in Meadow Lake each Friday. I would go to do paperwork, charting what I had been up to during the week. It was lonely in Beauval, as school ended in June, and many left the compound for holidays. It was nice to spend time with the other nurses that looked after the surrounding reserves. I could also do a bit of shopping, as Meadow Lake had more stores.

One Friday afternoon, I left the office for the hour and a half drive back to Beauval. Imagine a road with trees on both sides, and no farms or any signs of human life along the way. Green Lake was the only place with a few houses, and it was about 30 minutes north of Meadow Lake. After that, nothing. I had a flat tire on the 4X4 on the road. I had passed a vehicle along the way, so I was slowly getting stuff out of the truck, hoping that they would stop and help me. No such luck, a woman driver, and she didn’t slow down, just kept going! I didn’t want to spend the weekend on the highway, so I got to work. I think that is the last tire I ever changed! My arms were sore from pulling on the lug nuts to get them loose. I swore that my arms were a few inches longer when I was done. It took me quite a while, but I was able to change the tire. And not another vehicle came along. I felt very alone in the world.

On Monday, I called the office to get a replacement tire. They were arguing with me, saying that they needed proof that my tire was flat! Apparently, prior people had been ordering up tires for their personal use. I was very unhappy with this. So, meanwhile, they would leave me way up north, without a spare tire!! I also felt very lonely in the north. I was there for weeks before anyone checked on me to see if I was still even alive!

My northern experience was a real eye-opener. There was no supervision and I think there had been lots of abuses from former nurses. There were few Indigenous nurses at this time, so it was mainly non-Indigenous nurses taking advantage. I was careful about Ethics over the years, ensuring that my nursing practice was ethical. But, there were some that obviously weren’t concerned about ethics.

I put this down to racism and systemic discrimination. MSB was benevolent, like the kind boss. They had illogical policies that didn’t fit for most Indigenous communities. Like myself, they hired nurses without proper qualifications and maybe not the best persons. I worked with many nurses that were racist, and there was no one that challenged their thinking or language.

My boyfriend had stayed sober, and I was totally in love. We met in Meadow Lake one Friday, and in the parking lot of the Coop, he proposed to me. He didn’t get down on a knee or anything. He had a beautiful ring, but it needed sizing. I said ‘yes’, and our future was set for the next 15 years or so.

In 2019, I worked for a time in Meadow Lake. Elder Leon Matchee came to talk to our class. He talked about how he went with his dad to a ceremony in Poundmaker when he was young (I think he’s in his 80s). There were no roads back then, and they were traveling by horse and buggy. He was asking his dad how he knew what direction to go? He said his dad would tell him to listen. And he would go to a high point and listen, and he could hear sounds that would guide him where he was going. I am reminded today of how noisy we live. Long ago, there would have been silence amongst many spaces.

Cold Lake, Alberta, is across the border from Beauval. There is an air base at Cold Lake, and the summer of 1982, they allowed the US to practice some kind of military planes out of Cold Lake. The planes would fly over Beauval once a day or so. It would fly pretty low, and it was very loud. It would shake the ground. I wondered what impact it had on the wildlife? That sure filled up the silence.