10. Getting a degree 1981-84

I had been working close to four years with MSB in the same place. In the two-nurse office, there had been a large turnover of staff – I worked with four different nurses, and been alone for nearly one year altogether in the office by myself. I got along with most of the nurses, but I was totally ‘burned out’. I was angry with the ‘people’, my communities. All I could see was their dysfunction, and their lack of care for their own health. Mostly, I was ignored in my communities. I was not seen as a resource, but as another stranger imposing on their communities. And it was likely true, with my attitudes and behaviours and authority.

I was also drinking heavily and trying to ‘fit in’ to the community I was living in. There was a group of young professionals that I hung out with, as well as many of the local farmers. We all drank together, and my 2-bedroom trailer was a known party place. My desire to fit in allowed me to have no boundaries, with men and with my home. I was out of control.

In 1979, after 2 years, I met the man who would later become my husband. He was First Nations. He was older and very knowledgeable. He helped me to learn much more about Indigenous culture, and to understand the people that I worked with. But, he was an alcoholic, and quite unstable in our relationship, so that contributed to my burn out too.

The nurse that I worked with, Diane Wilson, was very bossy. She told me that I needed a degree. I was quite resistant. Somewhere in my training, we were taught that degree nurses were not as good as us diploma nurses, had less training even though they had a four-year program. The other nurse would not be denied and gathered up the papers that were needed. I think she even filled out some of them for me!

Some part of me knew that I was burned out and needed a change. So, I finally agreed, not because I really wanted to go to University, but because I wanted out of where I was. I applied to the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon and was accepted. I also applied for education leave from the government, and I was approved for 3 years of education leave at half of my salary, with tuition and books paid.

I always say that Creator had a big hand in my life. From going to church as a kid, I had a lot of faith. I didn’t necessarily believe in everything that the Lutheran church taught, but I did know how to pray, and believed that there was a path in my life that I was following. So, this was quite a miracle when I think back. Few people get education leave, and whether or not I wanted a degree, I was off in that direction! I am also thankful for the people that Creator put in my life at times when I most needed it. So, I give thanks to that bossy nurse for changing my life forever!

I don’t recall exactly how it happened, but my boyfriend and I moved in together in Saskatoon. He found a place and we gathered up some furniture and moved in. He was working for the Federation of Saskatchewan Indians, FSI. We moved into an apartment and set about ‘playing house’. That’s a whole other story!

I signed a contract with MSB that I would return to work for them for 3 years. I went to University from September to April/May, and then I would return to MSB, wherever they needed me for the summer. Because I was already an RN, that gave them a lot of flexibility. So, after 3 years, I had already worked 1 year back through my summer work.

The first summer, I worked in Beauval. It was north, north of North Battleford, north of Meadow Lake. Our regional office was in North Battleford. Our local office was in Meadow Lake. I had a small office in my trailer in Beauval to work from day-to-day. I didn’t appreciate the north, being a prairie girl. I found the surrounding trees suffocating, and I had to travel out regularly to keep my sanity! I got engaged to my boyfriend that summer.

The second summer, I worked in Fort Qu’Appelle. This was more comfortable, as I knew the area, and knew the office and the other nurses and support staff that I had to work with. Fort Qu’Appelle had the zone office, as well as the local office to provide services to surrounding communities. There were two First Nations nurses, Irene Desjarlais and Rozella Whiteman/McKay that worked out of this office, so I had a little group to be with. Irene took me under her wing and helped me along.

The third summer, I was posted to Gordon’s First Nation. I had married my boyfriend at Christmas, and we got a place to live next to his parents on the reserve. I took over for the nurse there, who was leaving on maternity leave. I was also pregnant with my first child with my husband.

I continued to live at Gordon’s for the next two years. At times, I worked there, and other times, I worked out of the Fort office. I didn’t want to ask to work there, as I was worried that they would deny me. They did assign me to that area finally, and I was able to work from home except for a trip on Monday to pick up the government vehicle and back on Friday to return it. I also had 2 kids, so I was on maternity leave twice for 6 months during this time.

Finally, getting that degree changed my life! I was the first in my family to attend University and get a degree. It gave me a better salary, as I was moved up a level, as well as a yearly sum for having a degree. It opened my eyes and my life and I was never the same after! I was motivated, able to do health teaching, but also knew much more about Indigenous people and their life.

Sadly, no one teaches students how to ‘fight’ the system or how to advocate for clients. Even though I had a better education, the rest of my life was spent walking between two worlds, between Indigenous communities and the mainstream system. Health care was especially mainstream.